Mysterious Occurrence Baffles Homeowner

Sometime during the night of June 21, 2004, a garbage bag placed on the front porch of a home near Bath, PA mysteriously erupted spewing its contents throughout the porch and into the main house.

“I’m certain I closed the door from the house onto the porch last night before retiring,” said homeowner Stan Frantz

But this is the scene he was greeted with this morning.

“It looked like it had just exploded out there, darnedest thing I’ve ever seen,” he said.

Despite the fair certainty that the porch was inaccessible to the owner’s two dogs during the night, suspicion immediately fell upon the two canines, Lulu and Rocky.

suspect1a

Who me?

“Who me? I’m the good dog!” Lulu seems to say “besides I was right next to you all night on the bed.”

suspect1b

I’m the good dog!

“How could you even suspect ME?”

When questioned, Rocky only looked bewildered.

“Huh? Uh, Dad, you know I go out like a light at night. Besides I learned my lesson about getting into stuff after that night I ripped into that 40 lb. bag of dog food and ate half of it and then puked all night long.”

suspect2

Rocky is clueless…

Further circumstantial evidence possibly connecting the mystery to a canine cause was discovered upstairs on the white carpet in the owner’s home office. A fresh pile of regurgitated used tissues, egg shell fragments and other matter suspiciously similar to the contents of the garbage bag on the front porch lay right in front of the bedroom door. But then the dogs could have just gotten into the garbage after it exploded.

“I sure am lucky I looked down and I didn’t step in that stuff. I’m usually pretty bleary eyed that time of the morning and always barefoot too. Come to think of it the dogs are pretty lucky too. No telling what might’ve happened if I then came down to see that mess on the porch with my foot covered in that goop.”

Still without concrete evidence and no witnesses to confirm the dog’s complicity in the garbage eruption, other theories have come forward, including spontaneous expansion of the foul gases contained in the bag and of course the usual UFO theories.

“I do recall the dogs barking like all hell at something in the middle of the night. Maybe there WAS something out there,” recalled Mr. Frantz. “Strange things do go on out here in the boonies in the night.”

So without hard evidence, this case remains open to speculation. If you happened to be in the area of Beersville and Cigar Rds last night and saw anything, you are encouraged to contact us and make a report of your observations.

“I can’t in good conscience punish the dogs,” said Mr. Frantz as he cleaned up the mess, “but you can be sure that next time I put a bag of fresh garbage out on the porch, I’ll double check that door is shut real good.”

Special to the Beersville Picayune-Times
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